can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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