and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
