He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
