We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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