The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
