obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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