If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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