i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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