soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
