and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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