Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I looked at my own cervix.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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