id be glad to
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
