My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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