No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
