Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
