Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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