farters have to be the big spoon...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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