And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
