last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
