And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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