I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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