morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
