I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So much rum. So many feels.
Randomize
