i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize