my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You ate ashes out of my bong
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
