Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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