is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
