Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
