I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
