At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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