I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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