Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
