In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
