I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
