Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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