He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
