is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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