i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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