hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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