So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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