Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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