Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
