This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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