The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Randomize