how can u be prego again
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
