Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
