i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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