If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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