Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
