You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
