So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
