but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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