Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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