my sisters under your porch take her home
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
