When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
