those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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