God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
