No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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