all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize