last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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