What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize