he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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