so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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