So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
