Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this just has baby written all over it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
