i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
