I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
