That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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