I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
