I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
