I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
