I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
