dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
